MIRRORING OTHERS OR MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO

 Good hello everyone ;)

Sorry, for a bit late blog. There's a lot going on right now in my life, so don't always have much time for writing blogs. However, as at the moment I'm in a hospital I did take my time to write a proper blog. Well, today's blog will be mirroring others. I hope you will like it and will find this information at least a little bit useful.

              We all know that after a long period of time of living with someone we're starting to look alike. That's  why we do wear similar clothes with friends, that's why we start doing identical gestures with a person we're talking to.
Thus, today's blog is going to be about mirroring another person. I got this idea after watching a serie called Dr House M.D, where one of the main characters proposed to his wife for a second time in order to fix their marriage, and this was led by what he saw in a hospital. So, Dr House explained it like "money see - monkey do" movement/ gesture. This is why children wants the sat toys as their friends have.
Well, mirroring happens among friends or between two people of the same status and it's common to see married couples walk, stand, sit and move in identical ways. Albert Scheflen found that people who are strangers studiously avoid holding mirror positions.

Matching Voices

Intonation, voice inflection, speed of speaking and even accents also synchronize during the mirroring process to further establish mutual attitudes and build rapport. This is why we do start talking louder with the people who are loud speakers, or we're starting yelling as well if someone yells at us. This is known as "pacing" and it can almost seem as if the two people are singing in tune.

Tip: never speak at a faster rate than the other person. Studies reveal that others describe feeling "pressured" when someone speaks more quickly than they do. So speak at the same rate or slightly slower than the other person and mirror their inflection and intonation.

Intentionally Creating Rapport

If a boss wants to develop a rapport and create a relaxed atmosphere with a nervous employee, he could copy the employee's posture to achieve this end. Similarly, a up-and-coming employee may be seen copying his boss's gestures in an attempt to show agreement when the boss is giving his opinion.  Using this knowledge, it is possible to influence others by mirroring their positive gestures and posture. This has the effect of putting the other person in a receptive and relaxed frame of mind, because he can "see" that you understand his point of view.

Tip: before you mirror someone's body language, however, you must take into consideration your relationship with that person. Accountants, lawyers and managers are notorious for using superiority body language clusters around people they consider inferior. By mirroring, you can disconcert them and force a change of position.

Who Mirrors Whom?

Researches show that when the leader of a group assumes certain gestures and positions, subordinates will copy, usually in peeking order. When a group of executives walk into a room, the person with the highest status usually goes first. When presenting ideas, products and services to couples, watching who mirrors whom reveals where the ultimate power of final decision making ability lies.

So, this is pretty much it for today's blog. Hope you liked it and it was easy to understand. I wish all the best for y'all and I'll see you next time with another blog. Please don't forget to subscribe for more blogs and share it with your friends, and of course to give g+1 if you enjoyed reading it, so I would be able to know that the body language is the exact topic you want to read about more.

Sorry for my English. It is not my mother-tongue language.
Hope you can understand. xx

WHAT DOES YOUR HANDSHAKE MEAN?

Good Hello fellas! ;)

As many of you know I'm a huge admirer of non-verbal communication. So sometimes, at the gatherings or parties I do say a thing or two about this to my friends or family members. And as suprising as it is, many of them enjoyed knowing the meanings of their handshakes. So, for today's blog I decided to share my knowledge about it from a book of Allan Pease called "Body Language How to read others'thoughts by their gestures".

To begin with, the handshake is defined as a gripping and shaking of right hands by two individuals, as to symbolize greeting, congratulation, agreement or farewell. Well, nowadays there are a few types of handshakes where people tend to make out their own unique hand movements, where dominant gesture is not just shaking. Also, in some cases with some people, handshakes were changed to hugs, kisses and etc.

DOMINANT AND SUBMISSIVE HANDSHAKES

In general there are three different handshake types:

1) DOMINANT  HANDSHAKE: There dominance is transmitted by turning your hand so that your palm faces down in the handshake. Your palm need not be facing downwards in relation to the other person's palm and this tells him that you wish to take control in the encounter that follows.



2) SUBMISSIVE HANDSHAKE: There you offer your hand with your palm facing upwards. This is particularly effective when you want to give the other person control or allow him to feel that he is in command of the situation. Keep in mind that the submissive person will use submissive gestures and the dominant person will use more aggresive ones.





3) VICE-LIKE HANDSHAKE: When two dominant people shake hands, a symbolic struggle takes place as each person tries to turn the other's palm into the submissive position. The result is a vice-like hand shake with both palms remaining in the vertical position as each person transmits a feeling of respect and rapport to the other. This vice-like vertical palm grip is the handshake that a father teaches his son when he shows him how to "shake hands like a man".

HAND SHAKE STYLES

There are seven handshake styles:

1) THE PALM-DOWN THRUST: It is certainly the most aggressive handshake style as it gives the receiver little chance of establishing an equal relationship.





2) THE GLOVE HANDSHAKE: It's sometimes called the politician's handshake. The initiator tries to give the receiver the impression that he is trustworthy and honest, but when this technique is used on a person he has just met, it has the reverse effect.





3) THE DEAD FISH HANDSHAKE: Particularly when the hand is cold or clammy. The soft, placid feel of the dead fish make it universally unpopular and most people relate it to weak character, mainly because of the ease with which the palm can be turned up.

4) THE KNUCKLE GRINDER: It's the trademark of the aggresive "tough guy" type. Just like the palm-down thrust, the stiff-arm thrust tends to be used by aggressive types and its main purpose is to keep you at a distance and out of the initiator's intimate zone. It is also used by people brought up in country areas who have a large intimate zone to protect their personal territory.

5) THE FINGER-TIP GRAB: It's like the stiff-arm thrust that has missed the mark; the user mistakenly grabs the other person's fingers. Even though the initiator may appear to have a keen and enthusiastic attitude towards the receiver, in fact lacks confident in himself.

6) THE ARM-PULL: When pulling the receiver into the initiator's territory can mean one of two things:

• First, the initiator is an insecure type who feels safe only within his own personal space.

• Second, the initiator is from a culture that has a small intimate zone and he's behaving normally.

7) DOUBLE-HANDED HADNSHAKES: It's used to show sincerity, trust or depth of feelings towards the receiver. Two significant elements should be noticed:

• First, the left hand is used to communicate the extra feeling that the initiator wishes to transmit and its extent is related to the distance that the initiator's left hand is moved up the receiver's right arm. The elbow group transmits more feelings than the wrist hold, and the shoulder hold, transmits more than the upper-arm grip.

• Second, the initiator's left hand represents an invasion of the receiver's intimate and close intimate zones.

So, this is pretty much it for today's blog. Hope you liked it and it was easy to understand. I wish all the best for y'all and I'll see you next time with another blog. Please don't forget to subscribe for more blogs and share it with your friends, and of course to give g+1, if you enjoyed reading it, so I would be able to know that the body language is the exact topic you want to read about more.

Sorry for my English. It is not my mother-tongue language.
Hope you can understand. xx

INVASION TO PERSONAL SPACE

Hello and welcome everyone! ;)

So, today's blog is going to be about personal space.
Oxford dictionary defins personal space as physical space immediatly surrounding someone, into which encroachment can feel threatening or uncomfortable. 

Let me start with my personal experiences.

I'm that type of person, who prefers to keep distance between one another. It's nothing personal, but I just feel uncomfortable, or even makes me feel like someone is about to stab me, if he or she is too close to me.
Well, I have no problems being close to my lover, holding hands and etc., but with less close people I just can't stand them being too much close.
My mother and sister are those type of people who are, as I call - touchy, like kittens wants to be always around you, but I'm not.
So, usually it's enough to say "don't go into my personal bubble", but in some cases I have to spreed my arms to show where the boundaries are, by doing so, everyone understands what I meant. This works everytime.

Now, let's talk about some explanations related to this topic.
Well, recently I read a book called "The definition book of Body Language" by Allan and Barbara Pease.

So, there are four types of zone distances:

1. The intimate zone: between 15 to 45 cm. Only those, who are emotionally close to us are permitted to enter. This includes lovers, parents, spouse, children, close friends, relatives and pets.

2. The personal zone: between 46 cm to 1.22m. This is the distance we stand from others at cocktail, office parties, social functions and friendly gatherings.

3. The social zone: between 1.22 to 3.6m. We stand at this distance from strangers, the plumber or carpenter doing repairs around our home, the postman, the local shopkeeper, the new wmployee at work and people whom we don't know very well.

4. The public zone: is over 3.6m. Whenever we address a large group of people, this is the comfortable distance at which we choose to stand.



However, to all of these four typers there's an exception: women stand slightly closer to one another, face each other more and touch more than man do with other men.

There's also a golder rule, if you want people to feel comfortable around you, especially the very first time - keep your distance. The more intimate our relationships are with others, the closer they'll permit us to move within their zones and vice verse.

Also, the distance that two people keep their hips apart when they embrace, reveals clues about the relationship between them.

One of the exceptions to the distance/intimacy rule occurs where the spatial distance is based on the person's social standing.

To sum up, others will invite or reject you, depending on the respect that you have for their personal space. This is why the happy-go-lucky person, who slaps everyone he meets on the back or continually touches people during a conversation, is secretly disliked by everyone.
Many factors can affect the spatial distance a person takes in relation to others, so it's wise to consider every criterion before making a judgement about why a person is keeping a certain distance.


TRY THE LUNCHEON TEST

Unspoken territorial rules state that a restourant table is divided equally down the middle and the staff carefully place the salt, pepper, sugar, flowers and other accessories equally on center line. As the meal progresses, subtly move the salt cellar across to the other person's side, then the pepper, flowers and so on. Before long this subtle territorial invasion will cause a reaction in your lunchmate. They either sit back to regain their space or start pushing everything back to the center.

So, this is pretty much it for today's blog. Hope you liked it and it was easy to understand. I wish all the best for y'all and I'll see you next time with another blog. Please don't forget to subscribe for more blogs and share it with your friends, and of course to give g+1 if you enjoyed reading it, so I would be able to know that the body language is the exact topic you want to read about more.

Sorry for my English. It is not my mother-tongue language.
Hope you can understand. xx

USEFUL TIPS TO GET THAT JOB!

Good day readers!

Not so long ago I had a job interview and in the end I was lucky enough to get it. So for January's month blog I decide to share some useful tips that would help you during the interviews, if you are going to get one soon or maybe you will find the answer what went wrong and would you should avoid a very next time.
So I splited it up into 5 major points.

Tip No 1: Have Just One Thing With You

Researches have shown that if a woman has a purse and a briefcase or a man has a purse and a big coat, he's actually seen as disorganized, messy, out of control. Unfortunatelly, if on the day of the interview you do have more than one thing with you, then leave it in the car. Take off everything what's not going to be necessary during the interview (this includes scarfs, coats, gloves and so on).

Tip No 2: Don't forget the back of your shoes

The very last thing that your interviewer will see is the back of your shoes. Because when you turn around and you walk out the door it's really easy to see are they not looking so good, not looking so hot. I mean you don't need to buy expenssive pair of shoes, but just make sure they're polished, look nice, because that's the last thing the interviewer sees.

Tip No 3: Smile Right

Woman, when we're nervous we tend to smile, because we want to be friendly, we want to build rapport. Actually, the more powerfull person, the less they smile and we also perceive this. So, as woman tend to smile more they're perceived intelligence is lower, because they think of them as ditsy or flirty. So, smile right means, smile when you meet someone first, when you leave and when you're talking something you're passioned about. Otherwise, you want to be carefull not to smile too much, because it actually makes you look like you're ditsy.

Tip No 4: Don't Contract, Don't expand

What woman do when they nervous is they tend to try to make themselves as small as possible. They sit with their arms inside and they cross their legs to be as small as possible, but it actually makes them weak. Man do opposite. When they're nervous they try to gain the theritory. So they put their arms on the chair, or they spread their legs sort of, kind of wide, while they're sitting. That is very agressive for a females interviewers and for a males interviewers, it is seen as competitive. So for a man, try not to claim your space too much, and for a woman don't tuck yourself in.

Tip No 5: Sit Right

Sit slightly angle. When you're directly across from someone, wheather it's round or square table, you recall less of what they say. So when you sit angled to interviewer it makes you look equal and on the same page.

As the last time so and this, here are some usefull tips:

• If you're really feel nervous before interview, then put your arms on your ribs. This move not just makes you look confident, but it also makes you feel confident. Of course do it couple minutes before interview and not during it, because it would make you look agressive;

• Imagine that your interview started just when you entered the company's theritory, because you can never know, if a person you met in a parking lot are not going to be you interviewer. So always say hello, make yourself look good, confident and don't forget why you are here;

So this is pretty much it for today's blog. Hope you liked it and it was easy to understand. I wish all the best for y'all and I'll see you next time with another blog, which most likely are going to be about my life and not non verbal communication.


Sorry for my English. It is not my mother-tongue language.
Hope you can understand. xx